Staying Afloat: Job-Hunt Edition

I recently completed a 3 month internship, I'm now an au-pair, working part-time in a cafe, and searching for a job in the creative industries. Finding a degree-related job while juggling other responsibilities has been one of the hardest challenges I've faced, and it's taken a while to get into a positive headspace about it. I thought I'd share some advice on how to cope with what can be a draining experience. 

First up, prioritise the roles. As tempting as it can be to apply for that dream position straight away, it may not be an entry-level opportunity. If in doubt, send over your details and situation, prove your passion and discuss how you could go about reaching that position. Who knows, they might have a work experience or internship vacancy which hadn't been advertised yet. Apply for the roles you have the most experience for and you are most suited to, rather than getting your hopes up for a job which ultimately you just aren't qualified for at this stage. 

Be Realistic. Make the most of the filtering options on job sites, to make life easier. This way you avoid looking through the vacancies which just aren't you. Consider how far you'd be willing to commute, the company size you'd like to join, your salary expectation, etc... 

Create a template for your cover letter, but tweak it for each role. Add in evidence to prove that you've actually researched the company, dropping in a line about what you've liked that they've recently done for example. They will probably receive an insane number of applications, with predictable key words blurring them all together. This can seem daunting, but there's no harm in getting creative here, share something you do that is memorable. Are you a dog-walker in your spare time? A stand-up comedian as a side hustle? Let 'em know! Getting into the habit of promoting yourself can feel awkward, but it usually gets easier once you get a sense of who you are and what you're looking for.

There's no expiration date for where you want to be. Whether that's to become a marine biologist, or publishing your first novel, it's OK to go slow. Working in retail, or whatever part-time role you find yourself in doesn't make you a failure. It also doesn't need to be temporary. There are no rules about the work you choose post-graduation, so take the advice of others with a pinch of salt (mine included!) There's no rush.

Keep track of the applications you've sent out, to get a sense of how many you've been doing, but also, it can be nice to jot down what else you've been getting up to. This usually cheers me up, reflecting on recent experiences, rather than dwelling on how many hours you've spent scrolling and crossing your fingers...

Reward yourself - it might seem like a small thing to send off a selection of application letters each day, but it takes a lot of energy, and it's easy to fall into an isolated cycle, beating yourself up when that rejection email (or no email entirely...) comes through, or an interview doesn't go as well as you'd hoped. Scheduling fun plans might not fit the spontaneous quota, but setting time aside for laughing in the pub or going for a wander with friends is definitely a positive thing. Solo binge-watching Killing Eve with a giant hot chocolate is also my kind of down-time... 

Hopefully this has been a helpful read! Feel free to send over any of your tips - I'm aware that there will be heaps I've missed out here. Big love to all those figuring it all out, too. 

Favourite Summer Reads

Hello! Somehow it's mid-September already - I hope you enjoyed the summer months. I'll do a wrap up about what I've been up to soon, but for now I thought I'd share some of the books I've read recently. Let me know what you thought if you've read any of them too.

-Home Fire by Kamila Shamsie. Winner of the 2018 women's prize for fiction, this novel is different to anything I've read in a while. It follows the lives of the Home Secretary's family and how three siblings find themselves becoming an international story - as one of them begins to idolise their jihadist father. Shamsie creates believable situations with realistic dialogue and fleshed out characters, which meant I was drawn into the story - to the point that I finished this book in a single day!

-How To Be Famous by Caitlin Moran. This sequel to How to Build a Girl is brilliant! The protagonist, Johanna, is settled in London and living her writing dream, but is still deeply unhappy. From sex shaming, imposter syndrome, and fame, to navigating the music scene as a teenager - this fed my soul. I genuinely laughed out loud and noted down phrases throughout, so if you've not read any of Moran's work, I highly recommend that you do.

-Conversations with Friends by Sally Rooney. As soon as I finished this, I instantly wanted to re-read it. I'm still tempted to get it back from my sister before she has a chance to start it! I read Rooney's Normal People earlier this year and liked the dirty realism aspects found in both novels. This follows twenty-one year old aspiring writer, Frances, as she forms a connection with a married couple. The vulnerabilities of each character and the intimacies of their relationships really struck a chord with me, and made me think of youth - with all its naivety and uncertain pleasures.

-The Gloaming by Kirsty Logan. I haven't read Gracekeepers yet but this is the prequel to that, so I'm definitely curious to get my hands on it. This had the perfect balance of magical realism in my opinion, set on an island where occupants end their lives as stone statues atop a cliff. It's enchanting, and reminded me of Ingo by Helen Dunmore - a book which is to blame for my love of the sea.

-All the Good Things by Clare Fisher. If you liked Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, this is similar. Twenty-one year old Beth is documenting the good things in her life, from her prison cell. I love books which make you consider morals and the true perpetrators of crime, and this ticks all the boxes there. It's also got short chapters and is easy to dip into, which makes it perfect for commuting and travelling.

Thanks for reading!

So... We're Graduates Now?

So for many of us, newly graduated, we are in the same boat. Some are no doubt seasick, in a world which suddenly demands more decision-making than we could have imagined. I think a lot of us are struggling to adapt, though it's early days, so I thought I'd share what I've found comforting recently whilst job-hunting.

Illustration by Manuela Gandara

What to watch/read/listen to when life is messy and overwhelming: 

Minnie Small's YouTube Channel. Minnie documents her creative process when painting, and often discusses dealing with imposter sydrome - particularly with never feeling like a 'real' artist. Her voice is comforting and her advice is never cliche. Here's one to get started with: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPmKeGgsBKE&index=53&list=WL&t=0s

The Multi-Hypen Method by Emma Gannon. Now I'll probably dedicate an entire post to this book, as it's genuinely transformed my perspective on W.O.R.K. It's incredible. If you need motivation and comfort in the changing industries, this is all you need. Emma explores side-hustles, and finding the style and work-balance which suits us all as individuals. There are some interesting stories in here, with people who juggle (magnificently) seemingly contrasting jobs. She doesn't look down on those who work the 9-5, but instead praises the need for flexible hours and the option to work remotely, as there are a whole generation of job-seekers who won't settle for unfulfilling jobs!

Laura Jane Williams' Instagram Stories and Tweets. Laura talks about everything from renovating her house to Love Island - but mainly she gives advice on pitching, writing and presenting in a down to earth way. I love her writing style, and her books (Ice-cream for Breakfast and Becoming) are both brilliant. I've had to stop and jot down several inspirational/memorable quotes from both!

Lean In: For Graduates by Sheryl Sandberg. This was a touch too cheesy at times, but there are some memorable quotes and tips which I'd actually use. It can be tough even knowing where to start, let alone what to charge as a writer (or other roles), and this helped in that area. It didn't focus enough on freelancing, I felt, but re-considered the generic 'career ladder' image into a soft play area, where we can dip our toes into various things and experiment along the way. If sending daunting emails, discussing salaries and prepping for interviews give you goosebumps - this could help.

GrownUpLand podcast. Comedians navigate the adult world, from dating and ambition, money and travelling, to sex and saving money. If you've worried about it, these guys have discussed it!

Playing Big (A Practical Guide to Trusting Your Instincts and Sharing Your Brilliance in a World that Needs Women's Voices) by Tara Mohr. Tara is an expert in offering practical skills to help women achieve their dreams, and this book gave me so many tips to start doing just that. It covers inner critics and self-doubt, not knowing what our calling is, and handling criticism and praise in a damaging way. One of the biggest things I took from this was to unlearn good student habits which can be harmful in the workplace. I also admired the way she treated childcare, volunteering and non-traditional/office jobs as equal, and focused on helping women achieve in any area of their lives.

The Comedy Lineup Part 1 & Queer Eye (Netflix). These two have been the ultimate distraction, both are hilarious and heart-warming in equal measure, so I'm recommending them to everyone!

I hope these suggestions help in some way! Feel free to leave any questions below, or let me know what you're doing to tackle the real world at the moment. Obviously I recommend all the cups of tea, dancing, talking to people who care and doing things you love - which will all make a difference. It's worth remembering that there is no rush or pressure to do everything right now, life can, and will, wait.

Change & Fear

Marisa Bates' recent article on The Pool has resonated so strongly with me that I've managed to escape this 3 month blog break!

Illustration: Eleanor Shakespeare

The article is about fear, and how different our lives could be if we weren't so afraid (Read it here: https://www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2018/27/Marisa-Bate-on-fear-and-a-list-of-things-to-do).

'If I weren't afraid, then the rush of doing something terrifying would never be so exhilarating, so wild, so life-affirming. There's nothing wrong with fear - as long as it doesn't stop you' - M.B.

It seems quite fitting to make this an update post of sorts, for your unlikely curiosity, and my own sanity - I miss blogging more than I thought I would. I've been living back in London for nine weeks now, and aside from the professional side of things (where I feel like I'm learning a lot), I hadn't stopped to consider what else I'd accomplished in this time.

The biggest change, aside from leaving university, was adjusting to single life. I had previously been in a relationship for nearly six years, so being solo brought with it a sudden loss I hadn't anticipated. And yet, it was also exhilarating. Who was I, outside of this duo? It became the perfect time to re-evaluate what I wanted at this stage in life, and work on myself.

Marisa's article explained how she wrote down what she would do if she was less afraid - of pain, failure, being told no, and hurting others. From getting her nose pierced, to confronting a friend who made her feel neglected sometimes, I found myself nodding and realising that the fear of judgement has been stopping me, too. She then realises that what she'd unintentionally done was write a to-do list. Now that's not to say that I'm planning on getting a tattoo anytime soon, or moving across the country (again!), but it's definitely had me thinking - if I've overcome anxieties previously, and have felt all the better for it -what's next?

Being daring doesn't always mean leaving comfort zones, there's definitely bravery in finding our boundaries, and putting our foot down to protect ourselves. I realised things were out of balance when I noticed I hadn't cooked a meal for myself in over a week. If you know me, you'll know that I find cooking relaxing, and it's a big part of my life. Slowing down and reintroducing things like that - one banana bread at a time - has helped my mental health massively.

If I weren't afraid of being 'caught out' for not doing something others would see as productive, I'd read more often, and indulge in days off, guilt-free. So many of us panic that we are 'wasting' days, or not updating our social platforms with 'proof' of our exciting lives. And I'm so over it. 

If I weren't afraid, I'd stick to my gut instinct, rather than forcing something which isn't suitable for me - be it a career change, relationship, or general lifestyle choice.

If I weren't afraid, I'd save up enough money to move abroad for a while, probably to work as a nanny, or try freelancing. Embracing the unknown and all that jazz. 

If I weren't afraid of being seen as demanding or entitled, I'd speak up, ask for help more, and discuss working from home on bad-brain-days. 

If I weren't afraid, I'd wear a bikini in front of people without flinching. (I've started outdoor swimming with friends, and I can confirm this gets easier every time. It's SO nice focusing on what feels fun and challenging, rather than 'I wonder if everyone is staring at my tummy'!) 

This list goes on and on. I imagine yours does too? Just writing it down helps more than you might imagine - so I'd recommend you do! 

Audiobooks: Wishlist & What I've Loved

Hello! I've not posted in a while, mainly due to lack of motivation and confidence in my writing. But I'm back. I'm currently working on my final two essays at Uni (which I still can't believe) and my new love for audio books has helped me power through studying. I thought I'd share my thoughts and suggestions for anyone else interested. 

Credit: SleuthSayers

Audible is £7.99 each month, and since I spend so much of my budget on books regularly, it's a great deal to access so many books for that price. It can be used like a library by returning a book when you've finished and your credit is reimbursed to be spent on another book. I love podcasts, and this is something similar I've been enjoying. My good friend Lizzie encouraged me to try it out, as it helps her fit in more reading whilst studying without feeling weighed down by academic books. I'm grateful to her as I'm now obsessed!

When I was younger I'd loved listening to cassette tapes before sleeping - Tracey Beaker, Harry Potter, Clarice Bean etc. I'm really indecisive so it's nice having the list I created to chose from, making it quick and easy to transition to the next book.

I've listened to:

• This is Going to Hurt by Adam Kay, which is a collection of diary entries and stories of a junior doctor.
   
• Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton - a brilliant account of adulthood, job-hunting and dating. I laughed and sobbed throughout as it was so relatable and witty.
  
  
• Aristotle and Dante Discover The Secrets of The Universe by Benjamin Alire Saenz. I'm currently halfway through, and am so invested in the blossoming friendship/relationship between the two main characters. I'll give a proper review at some point once I've finished! 

To Be Read:

• Inferior: How Science Got Women Wrong - and the New Research That's Rewriting the Story by Angela Saini. Inspired by the Banging Book Club, this sounds similar to Vagina by Naomi Wolf which investigates women and 'gender wars' in society. I think this will de-bunk stereotypes and myths which I'm excited about.
  
  
• Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What it Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha. Can you tell I'm obsessed with all things sex and relationships? This debates whether monogamy is natural, explores the mainstream preferences and discusses what the future will bring.
  
  
• Testosterone Rex: Unmaking the Myths of Our Gendered Minds by Cordelia Fine. Another on the Banging Book Club 2018 reading list which caught my eye. Cordelia unpacks the truth behind our biology, hormones and upbringing.
  
  
• The Intimate Adventures of a London Call Girl by Belle De Jour. I loved the ITV series based on this book (Secret Diary of a Call Girl) as I love Billie Piper and it changed my perspective on the sex work industry. I'm not sure what to expect with this in terms of how it's narrated but I'm looking forward to it.
  
  
• Turtles All the Way Down by John Green. I've heard great things about this, and I usually like John Green's books. It's about two friends hunting down a fugitive billionaire and investigating the mystery which surrounds him.
  
  
• Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race by Reni Eddo-Lodge. I've heard great things about this, and how it confronts white privilege and black history. I have no doubts this will be one I recommend to many people, and find the tools inside to open up important discussions.
  
  
• Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain. This is a guide for introverts to see how they can discover their strengths and achieve their potential, as well as an insight for extroverts. As an introvert through-and-through, this is one I imagine I'll relate to, and find comfort from listening to.
  
  
• The Descent of Man by Grayson Perry. I bloody love Grayson's artwork and how he confronts and rethinks masculinity. This is only a short one (3 hours) so it'll be a good one for when I'm travelling at some point.
  
  
• Still me by Jojo Moyes. This is the third book in the Me Before You series. The first book made me weep, and the film did, too. I hope this isn't one of those dragged out stories which ruins the first book! Her writing is easy to read, but conveys big issues and emotions. I can't wait for this one.
  
  
• The Cows by Dawn O'Porter. This is about three women, and stereotypes in modern life. I heard a spoiler about one of the woman being secretly filmed masturbating on a train which goes viral - and instantly I was intrigued! It also delves into the world of infertility, which interests me.
  
  
• Eve of Man by Tom and Giovanna Fletcher. This is the unpublished first book in a new trilogy which is about the first girl born in 50 years. It sounds dystopian, eerie and reminds me of What Happened to Monday - right up my street.
  
  
• Call Me by Your Name by Andre Aciman. I recently saw the film trailer for the adaptation of this book, and several people suggested reading the book first. It's about a summer romance - though I can't tell if it's between an older man and a teenage boy? Seems problematic, but then I guess there have been similar hetero relationships fictionalised which haven't received negative attention...
  
  
• The Martian by Andy Weir. I've spoken about my love for the film adaptation previously, and it always reminds me to appreciate life. The book is apparently more scientific than the film, which should help it feel more realistic. This is nearly 11 hours long, so I'm not sure when I'll start tackling it.
  
  
• Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. My sister has been recommending this for years, as it's one of her favourites. I'm hoping to read this before seeing the Spielberg film soon! It's about virtual reality in a fantastical future.
  
  
• Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli. The trailer for this film looks amazing so I can't wait to 'read' the book too. All I know is that it's about the concept of coming out as gay, and the response has been really positive, which is great.
  
  
• All That She Can See by Carrie Hope Fletcher. I loved Carrie's 'All I Know Now' memoir and this is about love, food and magic (a few of my favourite things). 
  
  
• When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi. This seems similar to This is Going to Hurt, and I know it'll break my heart. It's about a neurosurgeon being diagnosed with terminal lung cancer, and the transition from doctor to patient dealing with mortality.
  

Please share any of your recommendations in the comments! I'm always up for expanding this list and trying new types of books :)  

Finding Your Voice

"You've got a heart as loud as lions, so why let your voice be tamed?" - Emeli Sande

I'm really enjoying writing about writing right now, so here's another spout of rambling for your eyeballs. I remember hearing the phrase "be original" and "find your voice" being drilled into our heads during the first few weeks of University, and instantly feeling unsettled. The whole point, surely, of dedicating three years to experimenting with writing styles was to form this voice organically, in an unforced way?

I found myself thinking - and still sometimes find myself wondering - why would anything I make be different? Or worth reading? Even when writing this blog, I had close friends and family questioning whether I would contribute anything individual to the ever growing community of bloggers.

This had me stopping myself from reviewing restaurants, and writing articles - convincing myself that someone 'better' would already have done so, or would do so in the future, only in a more concise way than I could ever achieve.

So this is a reminder, to myself, and to you. Put your thoughts out there, or at least write them down and keep them private until they grow into something clearer. Your 'voice' will change and evolve, along with your behaviour and desires. Some days you'll want to write about race, politics, feminism, and other days the sheer joy of watching someone you love eat a mountain of pasta will be a topic which seems to hold vital importance worth documenting. That's OK.

You also don't need to define yourself as a poet, or a journalist, or any specific label, unless you want to. Sure, it might make your CV easier to understand, but mine's a messy showcase of my indecisive self, and I'm embracing that...

I find myself wondering if writing about skincare is too trivial to be worth publishing, that no-one would care or take me seriously. But it's one of many things which interests me - and surely that's something? I'm trying to remind myself that my opinions are valid, despite any privilege I have, or how little I know about a situation, or how unimportant the things I'm drawn to might seem.

Write first, then worry - it's somewhat inevitable. Edit, scrap, salvage, forgive, release. It's so easy to allow fear and stress to consume us and stop us from even acting on impulse and starting in the first place. But maybe we can actively change this mindset, these perceptions which destroy not only our dreams and goals but result in us wasting so much potential and interesting ideas. It's a difficult spiral to escape, and one I confront each time I sit and try to untangle a mess of thoughts at a keyboard or notebook. But it's a shared struggle, that much I know.

One voice holds incredible power, if only we are brave enough to start using it, rather than worrying about what it looks (sounds?) like.

We'll speak again soon,

Mia

You Don't Owe Anyone Your Productivity

I've been ill for over a week now, with a broken laptop leaving me without Netflix for longer than I'd have liked and an abandoned to-do list needing my attention. This is what encouraged me to write this post about unapologetically living your life, and adjusting our schedules when necessary.

I watched one of Leena Norms' old YouTube videos - this one  (side note: she's incredible), in which she answers the question 'How to get everything done'. Along with some great tips about balancing different projects, and finding our limits, she mentions that ultimately it's your life, and it's OK to be selfish and lazy if that's what makes you happy.

This idea has played on my mind for nearly a year, since I first watched the video. Leena unintentionally gave me permission to not need to seek permission - for anything. This seems relevant more than ever now, at a time when people are harnessing the power of self-care and mental health treatment. Just as I think we shouldn't have to justify having an extra biscuit, or sleeping in, we shouldn't need to convince anyone of our worth. We should be able to answer to ourselves alone.

If what motivates you to work hard is making your teachers and parents proud, to provide for a future family, or to make your ex jealous - then you do you -but if your current workload or schedule isn't rewarding to you personally, then is it worth it? There's always time to change things up and find new priorities. I definitely want to show my appreciation to my mum and all she has done for me, but success comes in many forms - happiness and being a decent person both make the cut.

I am all for earning the money needed to live, and to reach all the goals, but there is something incredibly liberating about realising that you can help create the world you want to exist in. I'm speaking from a place of privilege, admittedly - I only have to be responsible for feeding and washing myself. I completely understand that for many of us, caring for several people and part time work in anxiety-inducing environments is something we have little control over. But if we can inject even the smallest amount of hope and change into everyday routine, things can (with any luck) improve.

If embracing this perspective stops you beating yourself up for not achieving as much as others seemingly impressive lifestyles, it's surely a good thing. I've been feeling frustrated that I recently failed my new regular upload schedule (and other tasks) due to illness but I'm trying to forgive myself and see that in the grand scheme of things, not reaching self-inflicted deadlines isn't the end of the world.

Here are some happy memories I am grateful for, which resulted after I admitted defeat and didn't force myself to work through each sneeze: A gooey tray of raspberry and white chocolate brownies shared with friends, finishing a good book (Ruby Tandoh's Eat Up),  steaming away the troubles with a floral pink bath bomb, walking along the seafront and watching the sun set.

SO good!