Marisa Bates' recent article on The Pool has resonated so strongly with me that I've managed to escape this 3 month blog break!
The article is about fear, and how different our lives could be if we weren't so afraid (Read it here: https://www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2018/27/Marisa-Bate-on-fear-and-a-list-of-things-to-do).
It seems quite fitting to make this an update post of sorts, for your unlikely curiosity, and my own sanity - I miss blogging more than I thought I would. I've been living back in London for nine weeks now, and aside from the professional side of things (where I feel like I'm learning a lot), I hadn't stopped to consider what else I'd accomplished in this time.
The biggest change, aside from leaving university, was adjusting to single life. I had previously been in a relationship for nearly six years, so being solo brought with it a sudden loss I hadn't anticipated. And yet, it was also exhilarating. Who was I, outside of this duo? It became the perfect time to re-evaluate what I wanted at this stage in life, and work on myself.
Marisa's article explained how she wrote down what she would do if she was less afraid - of pain, failure, being told no, and hurting others. From getting her nose pierced, to confronting a friend who made her feel neglected sometimes, I found myself nodding and realising that the fear of judgement has been stopping me, too. She then realises that what she'd unintentionally done was write a to-do list. Now that's not to say that I'm planning on getting a tattoo anytime soon, or moving across the country (again!), but it's definitely had me thinking - if I've overcome anxieties previously, and have felt all the better for it -what's next?
Being daring doesn't always mean leaving comfort zones, there's definitely bravery in finding our boundaries, and putting our foot down to protect ourselves. I realised things were out of balance when I noticed I hadn't cooked a meal for myself in over a week. If you know me, you'll know that I find cooking relaxing, and it's a big part of my life. Slowing down and reintroducing things like that - one banana bread at a time - has helped my mental health massively.
Illustration: Eleanor Shakespeare
The article is about fear, and how different our lives could be if we weren't so afraid (Read it here: https://www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2018/27/Marisa-Bate-on-fear-and-a-list-of-things-to-do).
'If I weren't afraid, then the rush of doing something terrifying would never be so exhilarating, so wild, so life-affirming. There's nothing wrong with fear - as long as it doesn't stop you' - M.B.
It seems quite fitting to make this an update post of sorts, for your unlikely curiosity, and my own sanity - I miss blogging more than I thought I would. I've been living back in London for nine weeks now, and aside from the professional side of things (where I feel like I'm learning a lot), I hadn't stopped to consider what else I'd accomplished in this time.
The biggest change, aside from leaving university, was adjusting to single life. I had previously been in a relationship for nearly six years, so being solo brought with it a sudden loss I hadn't anticipated. And yet, it was also exhilarating. Who was I, outside of this duo? It became the perfect time to re-evaluate what I wanted at this stage in life, and work on myself.
Marisa's article explained how she wrote down what she would do if she was less afraid - of pain, failure, being told no, and hurting others. From getting her nose pierced, to confronting a friend who made her feel neglected sometimes, I found myself nodding and realising that the fear of judgement has been stopping me, too. She then realises that what she'd unintentionally done was write a to-do list. Now that's not to say that I'm planning on getting a tattoo anytime soon, or moving across the country (again!), but it's definitely had me thinking - if I've overcome anxieties previously, and have felt all the better for it -what's next?
Being daring doesn't always mean leaving comfort zones, there's definitely bravery in finding our boundaries, and putting our foot down to protect ourselves. I realised things were out of balance when I noticed I hadn't cooked a meal for myself in over a week. If you know me, you'll know that I find cooking relaxing, and it's a big part of my life. Slowing down and reintroducing things like that - one banana bread at a time - has helped my mental health massively.
If I weren't afraid of being 'caught out' for not doing something others would see as productive, I'd read more often, and indulge in days off, guilt-free. So many of us panic that we are 'wasting' days, or not updating our social platforms with 'proof' of our exciting lives. And I'm so over it.
If I weren't afraid, I'd stick to my gut instinct, rather than forcing something which isn't suitable for me - be it a career change, relationship, or general lifestyle choice.
If I weren't afraid, I'd save up enough money to move abroad for a while, probably to work as a nanny, or try freelancing. Embracing the unknown and all that jazz.
If I weren't afraid of being seen as demanding or entitled, I'd speak up, ask for help more, and discuss working from home on bad-brain-days.
If I weren't afraid, I'd wear a bikini in front of people without flinching. (I've started outdoor swimming with friends, and I can confirm this gets easier every time. It's SO nice focusing on what feels fun and challenging, rather than 'I wonder if everyone is staring at my tummy'!)
This list goes on and on. I imagine yours does too? Just writing it down helps more than you might imagine - so I'd recommend you do!
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