So... We're Graduates Now?

So for many of us, newly graduated, we are in the same boat. Some are no doubt seasick, in a world which suddenly demands more decision-making than we could have imagined. I think a lot of us are struggling to adapt, though it's early days, so I thought I'd share what I've found comforting recently whilst job-hunting.

Illustration by Manuela Gandara

What to watch/read/listen to when life is messy and overwhelming: 

Minnie Small's YouTube Channel. Minnie documents her creative process when painting, and often discusses dealing with imposter sydrome - particularly with never feeling like a 'real' artist. Her voice is comforting and her advice is never cliche. Here's one to get started with: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPmKeGgsBKE&index=53&list=WL&t=0s

The Multi-Hypen Method by Emma Gannon. Now I'll probably dedicate an entire post to this book, as it's genuinely transformed my perspective on W.O.R.K. It's incredible. If you need motivation and comfort in the changing industries, this is all you need. Emma explores side-hustles, and finding the style and work-balance which suits us all as individuals. There are some interesting stories in here, with people who juggle (magnificently) seemingly contrasting jobs. She doesn't look down on those who work the 9-5, but instead praises the need for flexible hours and the option to work remotely, as there are a whole generation of job-seekers who won't settle for unfulfilling jobs!

Laura Jane Williams' Instagram Stories and Tweets. Laura talks about everything from renovating her house to Love Island - but mainly she gives advice on pitching, writing and presenting in a down to earth way. I love her writing style, and her books (Ice-cream for Breakfast and Becoming) are both brilliant. I've had to stop and jot down several inspirational/memorable quotes from both!

Lean In: For Graduates by Sheryl Sandberg. This was a touch too cheesy at times, but there are some memorable quotes and tips which I'd actually use. It can be tough even knowing where to start, let alone what to charge as a writer (or other roles), and this helped in that area. It didn't focus enough on freelancing, I felt, but re-considered the generic 'career ladder' image into a soft play area, where we can dip our toes into various things and experiment along the way. If sending daunting emails, discussing salaries and prepping for interviews give you goosebumps - this could help.

GrownUpLand podcast. Comedians navigate the adult world, from dating and ambition, money and travelling, to sex and saving money. If you've worried about it, these guys have discussed it!

Playing Big (A Practical Guide to Trusting Your Instincts and Sharing Your Brilliance in a World that Needs Women's Voices) by Tara Mohr. Tara is an expert in offering practical skills to help women achieve their dreams, and this book gave me so many tips to start doing just that. It covers inner critics and self-doubt, not knowing what our calling is, and handling criticism and praise in a damaging way. One of the biggest things I took from this was to unlearn good student habits which can be harmful in the workplace. I also admired the way she treated childcare, volunteering and non-traditional/office jobs as equal, and focused on helping women achieve in any area of their lives.

The Comedy Lineup Part 1 & Queer Eye (Netflix). These two have been the ultimate distraction, both are hilarious and heart-warming in equal measure, so I'm recommending them to everyone!

I hope these suggestions help in some way! Feel free to leave any questions below, or let me know what you're doing to tackle the real world at the moment. Obviously I recommend all the cups of tea, dancing, talking to people who care and doing things you love - which will all make a difference. It's worth remembering that there is no rush or pressure to do everything right now, life can, and will, wait.

Change & Fear

Marisa Bates' recent article on The Pool has resonated so strongly with me that I've managed to escape this 3 month blog break!

Illustration: Eleanor Shakespeare

The article is about fear, and how different our lives could be if we weren't so afraid (Read it here: https://www.the-pool.com/life/life-honestly/2018/27/Marisa-Bate-on-fear-and-a-list-of-things-to-do).

'If I weren't afraid, then the rush of doing something terrifying would never be so exhilarating, so wild, so life-affirming. There's nothing wrong with fear - as long as it doesn't stop you' - M.B.

It seems quite fitting to make this an update post of sorts, for your unlikely curiosity, and my own sanity - I miss blogging more than I thought I would. I've been living back in London for nine weeks now, and aside from the professional side of things (where I feel like I'm learning a lot), I hadn't stopped to consider what else I'd accomplished in this time.

The biggest change, aside from leaving university, was adjusting to single life. I had previously been in a relationship for nearly six years, so being solo brought with it a sudden loss I hadn't anticipated. And yet, it was also exhilarating. Who was I, outside of this duo? It became the perfect time to re-evaluate what I wanted at this stage in life, and work on myself.

Marisa's article explained how she wrote down what she would do if she was less afraid - of pain, failure, being told no, and hurting others. From getting her nose pierced, to confronting a friend who made her feel neglected sometimes, I found myself nodding and realising that the fear of judgement has been stopping me, too. She then realises that what she'd unintentionally done was write a to-do list. Now that's not to say that I'm planning on getting a tattoo anytime soon, or moving across the country (again!), but it's definitely had me thinking - if I've overcome anxieties previously, and have felt all the better for it -what's next?

Being daring doesn't always mean leaving comfort zones, there's definitely bravery in finding our boundaries, and putting our foot down to protect ourselves. I realised things were out of balance when I noticed I hadn't cooked a meal for myself in over a week. If you know me, you'll know that I find cooking relaxing, and it's a big part of my life. Slowing down and reintroducing things like that - one banana bread at a time - has helped my mental health massively.

If I weren't afraid of being 'caught out' for not doing something others would see as productive, I'd read more often, and indulge in days off, guilt-free. So many of us panic that we are 'wasting' days, or not updating our social platforms with 'proof' of our exciting lives. And I'm so over it. 

If I weren't afraid, I'd stick to my gut instinct, rather than forcing something which isn't suitable for me - be it a career change, relationship, or general lifestyle choice.

If I weren't afraid, I'd save up enough money to move abroad for a while, probably to work as a nanny, or try freelancing. Embracing the unknown and all that jazz. 

If I weren't afraid of being seen as demanding or entitled, I'd speak up, ask for help more, and discuss working from home on bad-brain-days. 

If I weren't afraid, I'd wear a bikini in front of people without flinching. (I've started outdoor swimming with friends, and I can confirm this gets easier every time. It's SO nice focusing on what feels fun and challenging, rather than 'I wonder if everyone is staring at my tummy'!) 

This list goes on and on. I imagine yours does too? Just writing it down helps more than you might imagine - so I'd recommend you do!