I've been ill for over a week now, with a broken laptop leaving me without Netflix for longer than I'd have liked and an abandoned to-do list needing my attention. This is what encouraged me to write this post about unapologetically living your life, and adjusting our schedules when necessary.
I watched one of Leena Norms' old YouTube videos - this one (side note: she's incredible), in which she answers the question 'How to get everything done'. Along with some great tips about balancing different projects, and finding our limits, she mentions that ultimately it's your life, and it's OK to be selfish and lazy if that's what makes you happy.
This idea has played on my mind for nearly a year, since I first watched the video. Leena unintentionally gave me permission to not need to seek permission - for anything. This seems relevant more than ever now, at a time when people are harnessing the power of self-care and mental health treatment. Just as I think we shouldn't have to justify having an extra biscuit, or sleeping in, we shouldn't need to convince anyone of our worth. We should be able to answer to ourselves alone.
If what motivates you to work hard is making your teachers and parents proud, to provide for a future family, or to make your ex jealous - then you do you -but if your current workload or schedule isn't rewarding to you personally, then is it worth it? There's always time to change things up and find new priorities. I definitely want to show my appreciation to my mum and all she has done for me, but success comes in many forms - happiness and being a decent person both make the cut.
I am all for earning the money needed to live, and to reach all the goals, but there is something incredibly liberating about realising that you can help create the world you want to exist in. I'm speaking from a place of privilege, admittedly - I only have to be responsible for feeding and washing myself. I completely understand that for many of us, caring for several people and part time work in anxiety-inducing environments is something we have little control over. But if we can inject even the smallest amount of hope and change into everyday routine, things can (with any luck) improve.
If embracing this perspective stops you beating yourself up for not achieving as much as others seemingly impressive lifestyles, it's surely a good thing. I've been feeling frustrated that I recently failed my new regular upload schedule (and other tasks) due to illness but I'm trying to forgive myself and see that in the grand scheme of things, not reaching self-inflicted deadlines isn't the end of the world.
Here are some happy memories I am grateful for, which resulted after I admitted defeat and didn't force myself to work through each sneeze: A gooey tray of raspberry and white chocolate brownies shared with friends, finishing a good book (Ruby Tandoh's Eat Up), steaming away the troubles with a floral pink bath bomb, walking along the seafront and watching the sun set.
SO good!
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